Two Questions

[Dave]

I was thinking about last summer, and I have questions on two different scenarios that we couldn't quite figure out.

First scenario. The bunk is starting to leave an activity and is heading to the next one, but there is one kid who, for whatever reason, refuses to leave. Whether it be because they don't want to go to the next activity, they're upset over something, etc. Let's say one of our counselors had to leave the bunk and there are only two counselors with the bunk (or worse, there's only one counselor). What do you do? I've tried several techniques, including persuasion, compromise, start leaving without him, anything I could think of. In theory, it seems that pretending to start leaving without him would cause him to follow eventually. But it seems all the kids I have don't fall for this.

Second scenario. A kid gets upset over something. As a result, he'll go hide behind a tree (not far away). When you go over to talk to him, he runs to another tree. You try talking to him, but that doesn't work. Then you try the maybe-if-we-ignore-him-for-a-little-bit-he'll-get-over-it-on-his-own technique. That doesn't work. So what do you do? It's obvious he wants attention when he runs away from you, but by ignoring him, he will just stand where he is, no matter what you say.

I know this seems a bit random, but I had these things on my mind and wanted to see what some of you had to say.

[Trees]

A. Call for assistance, or go get it if you don't have radios. Depending on your camp rules, two campers might be able to carry a message to someone; or, if you have two counselors (we always have two), take the whole group elsewhere, leaving one counselor behind with the kid (and possibly a buddy, depending on where you are). I would never pretend to start leaving without a kid, because I couldn't follow through with the "threat"; kids are never left alone at my any camp I've worked at.

B. I wouldn't try to talk to the kid, as long as it's safe for him. What's wrong with just letting him stand where he is?

Not random at all! These questions are the kinds of posts where I learn the most, from hearing how others deal with these situations.

[Dave]

A. Call for assistance, or go get it if you don't have radios. Depending on your camp rules, two campers might be able to carry a message to someone; or, if you have two counselors (we always have two), take the whole group elsewhere, leaving one counselor behind with the kid (and possibly a buddy, depending on where you are). I would never pretend to start leaving without a kid, because I couldn't follow through with the "threat"; kids are never left alone at my any camp I've worked at.

B. I wouldn't try to talk to the kid, as long as it's safe for him. What's wrong with just letting him stand where he is?

Not random at all! These questions are the kinds of posts where I learn the most, from hearing how others deal with these situations.
For B, let's say it's similar to the first situation, where the bunk is getting ready to leave.

[camper]

for a, i say have 1 counselor stay w/the kid and have the rest of the group go...it's not fair to the rest of the group to have their next activity shortened b/c of 1 person. also, you don't really have to worry about being alone with a camper or a counselor being alone w/a group of campers during the day at camp b/c there's people everywhere...everyone will understand that what you did was right in the situation.

for b- and this has happened at my camp before- just let them stand where they are until you have to move on to a new activity or transition into something else. and if at that point, they still won't move...get a groupleader, head counselor, or director to take over because they have to know that it is not ok for them to do that. usually by bringing in someone "higher up" (sorry, i know our jobs are all important but let's face it kids are intimidated if they know that someone has more "power" than you do) will make the kid listen. also, you need to try to find out what the deeper cause of this is.

[guttst]

A- At my camp, we have specialists running activities, I've had them take the bunk to the next activity while I dealt with the kid. Depending on how old, mature and typically well behaved the kids are, you could also consider sending them to the activity alone and having them tell the specialist there that youre dealing with an issue and wil e there soon.

B- The first thing I'd try is obviously leaving the kid alone if he's not bnothering anyone. The next thing I'd try if ignoring him/her doesnt work is send one of their bunk-friends to bring them back... You'd be surprised at how much a friend can convince someoone whos upset...

Hope that helps...

[YUrocks!]

Great questions!

For B: The answer is kinda annoying ... it depends. If you know why the kid is upset, it makes it easier to know what to do. Having a friend help can be good but not in every circumstance.

let the kid know that you care about him and want to help him and are ready to listen when he's ready to talk. Sometimes kids just need some time to sort things out but still want you to know that they are upset. Telling him you care and are ready to listen responds to his need for attention while still giving him the space he needs.

[tigerfan]

Those are difficult situations...

For A, I'd say have one counselor move on with the rest of the group and leave one with the camper, if you are allowed to separate. I'd say warn the camper once that you will need to call the director (or unit leader etc.) if they do not come, and then if the camper still doesn't come you should follow through with your warning. If both counselors have to stay with the group, I'd either keep doing the current activity if possible, or play games with the rest of your campers while waiting for the director; and I'd try not to make too big a deal out of the situation in front of the campers.

For B, if the camper is not hurting anything, I'd let him be until it is time to leave. If he won't come, I'd do what I said above. Like others have said, it would be a lot easier to decide how to handle the situation if you knew why the camper was upset.

[Campy Measius]

Great questions!
These are the types of situations that come up at my camp a lot.

For A, there were a lot of great answers, but at my camp, counselors are never, ever under any circumstances allowed to be alone with a camper. And we can't leave campers by themselves. So here are some other options that have worked for me.

My suggestion would be to get the attention of a counselor from another group... now you could do a few things here, you could either ask one of the helpful campers (the one who you just know will be a counselor some day) to stay behind with you for a few minutes and ask the counselor you 'borrowed' to go on with your group. This isn't an ideal solution because the 'good' camper is missing out on an activity. But sometimes a kid can do a great job of convincing someone else how fun an activity will be.
Another thing to do is to have the 'borrowed' counselor go in and talk to the camper, sometimes a new face will make a huge difference. (that's something that was covered already on this board somewhere... maybe an article?)

If the camper is just being diffucult and doesn't have a good reason for not going to the activity, you could tell them that they don't have to participate, that they can sit on the sidelines and watch, if this doesn't work, maybe start timing and tell them that for as long as they keep the group waiting to go to the activity, you will take the same amount of time off them for an activity that they like (swimming for an example) but make sure you follow through.
If they do have a valid reason for not wanting to go, like they're upset, sick, homesick or scared of the activity you may want to get your support staff to help.
I have a smallish camp, so I would suggest my counselors let me know, if a camper was sick or upset I'd tell the counselor to go on and myself and the Ad would deal with it. If they were scared to go to the activity or something, I might let them come and help me in the office or help with the dishes or something (more fun than it sounds haha, plus they'd feel special hangin with the Dir and AD but it wouldn't be sooo fun that they'd want to miss out on stuff all the time ...to do dishes)

For B I would probably try the same thing as you, talking to them first. Then giving them a few minutes if that didn't work. If giving them time didn't work either I would go over and sit down so that I was within talking distance but far enough away to give them space so they'd know I wasn't trying to 'drag' them back (haha) (and so I could still see the rest of the group)
Then I would tell them that I understand that they need their space becasue they are upset, and I like to be alone when I'm upset too.
That if they need to talk I'm right here to listen, and if they still don't want to talk that's ok too, but I'm going to stay right here.
I'd explain that I'm staying there because at camp the counselors are responsible for them so they can't go off on their own.
If we were moving to another location, I would tell them that they can walk a few steps behind the group so that they can still have their space, but because their parents trust me to take care of them, I can't leave them here by themselves.
If none of that worked I would remind them of the boundries at camp, and that if they go past the boundries they might get sent home for running away and that I really really like them, and don't want them to get in trouble for something like that.
Again, you can try the other camper trick, the other staff trick and if all else fails, grab the Ad or Dir.

LOL man, I love my long posts eh?! :P

[runrachrunn]

Dave, my strategy for these types of scenarios is to give the kid space.I think sometimes kids are so overwhelemd at times that they try and "hide" the same way they would at home (go to their rooms, find a quiet spot). Of course, at camp that doesn't really happen, does it?

Whenever I had a problem with my camper, I would tell her to go for a walk. Considering that there's one main path through our cabin village, I could stand in the middle of the village and see her, wherever she was. Generally while that was happening, I'd try and find someone with a walkie (or send someone to find someone with a walkie) so I could call a UH who could hopefully come in and help me out. I know one time, the UH told us to just let the kid walk - the camp is small enough and rural enough that the kid wouldn't get too far without (a) being stopped by another head staff, or B) wanting to come back because of the bugs.

Sorry not much help here, but that's my $.02

[SWTexan]

At the res. camp I worked at, the kids actually had their own schedule of activities and transitioned on their own. Staff doubled as both activity and cabin counselors. The fail-safe was that we "called roll" at the beginning of each activity class and called into the Program Directors if anyone was missing. (each activity either had a phone on our intra-camp intercom system or close access to one.) When the PDs got the info that someone was missing from a class, they used the PA system to announce it. Then, any staff who saw that camper out of place sent them to the right one. If the kid didn't show up, the PDs and Directors went looking for them, creating the situation that Camper discussed. And, since we either showed up in one of the "cool" camp cars (painted green, no doors, maybe no roof) or on a mo-ped, they always went with us.

At my present camp, both situations would warrant one counselor moving on with the group and another staying to deal with the situation. As soon as the other counselor got to the central area of camp, a supervisor would be notified (if they hadn't already noticed) and they would go over to assist as necessary.