A Stealing Scenario

[Dave]

I'll be creating similar threads like this to get your opinions and get some discussion going. Feel free to create scenarios of your own for everyone else to ponder and respond to. If you want to make a scenario, just create a new thread in this forum with a short description for the title. Then describe it in the post.

Here's the scenario: I'll start off with a simple and easy one. One of your campers brought in a ball from home. It can be any kind of small ball (tennis ball, bouncy ball, etc.). He/she has fun bouncing it while walking from one activity to another. During one of the activities, another kid in your bunk takes it from him/her while they aren't looking. When the period's over and the camper goes to get the ball, they notice it's missing. He/she started crying and gets mad, asking all of the kids who took it. To make matters worse, he/she holds a fist up to each kid. The kid who took the ball doesn't give it up, and the other kid is really getting mad, threatening to beat up who ever stole it. You walk over just as you see him/her holding up a fist in the kids' faces.

What would you do in this situation? There aren't too many answers for this one, but some people could do things differently. Tell us what you would do.

[camper]

first i would take the kid whose ball was stolen aside and not let her (lets call her jenny) even discuss the issue until she calmed down. then i would walk over to the rest of the group with her and say to the girls, "girls, jenny is upset b/c she thinks someone took her ball from activity...you all know it's wrong to take something that's not yours so if you have the ball, you can put it on my bed at any time and i'll give it back to jenny and no one has to know that it was you...or if you feel like just handing it back and apologizing that's ok too. i don't ever want something like this to happen again b/c you're all too great of campers to be doing things like this." hopefully someone would anonomously put the ball on my bed. if not, i would just keep my eye out for it in the bunk and maybe get her a new one or something similar on a day off if it didn't turn up.

[speedx5xracer]

I would first take both parties (the victim and the one who stole the ball) and sit them down(key part) away from where the rest of the kids can hear them (key). I would sit down with them as to look more understanding. And ask both to calmly explain their side as to not cloud my view. And then guide them(the absolute most important aspect) not tell them how to resolve this. The proverb about giving a man a fish you feed him for a day and if you teach him how to fish you will feed him for life represents this perfectly. **Trade secret from veteran staff** A child reacts stronger if they realize what they did wrong and learned how to prevent that from happening again than if you lecture them **end trade secret** If you dont think that hearing only the two sides is help full there is another option I will explain in a new thread about problem solving later today or tommorow.

[collissimon]

I don't think I'd allow little Jimmy to take the ball around with him in the first place. I would explain to him that taking it to activities may mean that it could get lost and I know how upset he would be if that happened.

If he took it anyway, I would first explain to him that this is why I asked him to leave it behind [I might even use that dreaded phrase: Natural Consequence!]. I would explain that to get angry is not the way to get the ball back, and not get the situation resolved until he'd calmed himself down.

I would ask the group to look at the balls in their hands, and make sure that they've not picked up Jimmy's by mistake.

If this didn't resolve it, I would identify the culprit, and take Bobby aside. I would ask him again if he took Jimmy's ball by mistake. If he said no, I would ask him why he took it etc. and resolve it that way. If Bobby said no, he would earn himself a consequence to be taken off during free-time.

If Jimmy had reacted poorly at the beginning, he would earn one too for his aggressive behaviour.

[rockinsmiles]

I like all these ideas. i definitily agree that the first order of process is to calm the campers down...and never to accuss a camper of "stealing". what i would add is if it looks like this camper is about to hit the other camper(s) step between the two campers. its a lot better if you get "punched" than another camper.

[ocean]

I would talk to the camper one on one and then talk to the group as whole about stealing and ask the person who stole it to give it back

[Skater Bubbles]

I would pretty much do what Camper said and also make sure that they know it's the act that I am upset about and not the person who commited the act.

[CAMPFRIEND]

I hate to say it but I would keep the ball and give it back to the owner at the end of the day. We have a big problem with this with game cards and game boy's. We try to have our campers keep things at home. I guess that is the joy of day camp!
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PW50 (http://www.cyclechaos.com/wiki/Yamaha_PW50)

[Dave]

Game cards and electronic hand-held games are banned at our camp. Our division heads tell us that if we see a kid playing with them to take them away.

[CAMPFRIEND]

I have a collection of game cards.
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homemade vaporizer (http://homemadevaporizers.info)

[CAMPFRIEND]

All from the kids.. I don't think that I could ever by them.
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Ducati Multistrada 1100 S (http://www.cyclechaos.com/wiki/Ducati_Multistrada_1100_S)

[Dave]

The only time the kids are allowed to play with cards is when a counselor brings in a deck of cards and lets the kids join in. And that's the only way we're allowed to bring in cards. If we don't let the campers play then we're not allowed to play wih cards.

[camper]

at a sleepaway camp it's a little different. most of the kids bring that kind of stuff with them. cards and jax are games played at every free time at our camp. we always play too!

[Dave]

I've never thought to bring jax to camp. I've always had funny playing with them. I could teach the kids as well. It's a fun game to play during one of those activities you and the other counselors just don't want to participate in.

[camper]

dave you play jax? haha that's great, i don't think i've ever known a guy who could stand it!

[Dave]

Well I haven't played it in years. But I know how to play, and I would play it at camp.