Campers Say the Funniest Things

[Shandchik]

So at my camp, we have a board in our office titled "Campers Say The Funniest Things". I thought this topic could get interesting. Today I added 3.
1) A counselor walked toward the pool to pick up a frisbee..and a camper said "You're not Jesus you know, you can't work on water".
2)"When my dad sees pretty women, he says 'mamasita' and then my mom gets angry." ~ 5 year old camper
3) "Excuse me, lifeguard. I have an emergency. I think I'm choking on pool water"...4 seconds later..." Oh yeah, cough cough cough..."

Anything to add!? I'd love to hear them!:D

[amnickel]

This isn't one that a camper said but i thought it was pretty funny...even though it is sick.

We have a talent show the last night of camp, and the MC was going through saying what songs would be said next and he said "I wanna do it all in the hole" None of the campers caught it but half of the counselors caught it.

[Skater Bubbles]

I was lecturing my kids the other day because they were all misbehaving and one of my kids looked at me and said "Miss T, do you have to take asprin after camp every day?" I just laughed and said actually YES!

[Flukie]

My favorite last summer, from a camper sitting in the sand and pouring it over her legs: "Look! I'm a chicken cutlet!!"

[ArtisticEric]

The campers haven't arrived yet but as soon as the say something good i'll post:D

[happy_camper]

Flukie - your quote (chicken cutlet) totally cracked me up!

That is too funny!!:D

Thanks for posting it!

[Flukie]

We had a couple other really good ones this summer... :)

Camper describing their first time alone in a Sunfish: "One person does the tiller, one holds the sails and one does the screaming."

Camper: What are you guys doing in the CIT Pit?
CIT: We were discovering ourselves!
Director to CIT Director: At least they weren't discovering each other...

Camper: I didn't run much for Running Bears... But I ran when I saw the Newport bathroom.

Staff: Oh! You have red toothpaste. What type is it?
Camper: Port!

(We have a lot of sailors at our camp!)

[speedx5xracer]

"i have a girlfriend at home and a girlfriend at camp" - camper age 9. (many staff members this summer were cheating on their other halfs at home w. camp people)

[Melk]

While at a YMCA for a camper reunion:

Camper: Why do they call it mazing kids and not Amazing kids
Counsleor: Because they want to be hip and jiggy with it na na na na na na n na na (quoting that oldschool will smith song)
Camper: We're not at that stage yet.

[Angel_Jenny]

Like this topic!
1) 2 friends on staff were from Scotland just talking to eachother and a camp asked them what language they were speaking a moment ago and they replied English. The campers said no what were you speaking before so they answered Scottish and the camper was happy to go on his way!

2) Alot of misunderstandings came with the difference in "English/American" words and it took ALOT of explaining what a Wally and a Plonker was :D

Jenny x

[clarabelle1985]

Its jenny!!!! lol the poor kid was confused i have to admit tho when me and pete got going in our broadest glaswedgian there was not many who understood us:)

[laurathistle]

Like this topic!
1) 2 friends on staff were from Scotland just talking to each other and a camp asked them what language they were speaking a moment ago and they replied English.

2) A lot of misunderstandings came with the difference in "English/American" words and it took ALOT of explaining what a Wally and a Plonker was :D

Jenny x

Lol! Being from Scotland I have been asked this a few times, especially when I worked in an international youth hostel.

I have made up a game for camp based on Scottish words like Lug, Lum, Midden and Keek. (any guesses?)

[Angel_Jenny]

Well to be honest I hant a clue LOL! I asked Claire and she wont tell me...hmmm... is "lug" ear? like when u say a clip over the lughole :D hehe.. no idea, please spill! x

[laurathistle]

yep - lug (or lug hole) is ear. Have another guess! no cheating!

[Angel_Jenny]

I have made up a game for camp based on Scottish words like Lug, Lum, Midden and Keek. (any guesses?)

So I got lug right... hmmmm well is Midden a maiden? Lum I heard was to start a fire lol and Keek ( I know u said no cheating but I had no guessing power left) googled keek to be a sly look/ a peek!

[clarabelle1985]

i said u needed a lum top start a fire in ur house not to actualyl start it - he he i think were getting our wires crossed.

[laurathistle]

cheating gets you no where! lum means chimney, keek is look (not to be confused with keech, that is something very different!)

[Angel_Jenny]

:-o sorry Laura! won't cheat anymore lol! Just didnt want to sound silly with my guesses! leave me being silly for camp! ;) x

[laurathistle]

Tee hee. what about Keech then?

[Angel_Jenny]

can't even say the word :-s hmmmm ****thinks hard**** does it mean dirty? I prefer the never ending story game lol its a little easier ;) x

[laurathistle]

And you are from the UK! Think of the poor kids!

[Toenails]

Last summer during our activity introductions, I was telling the campers about archery, and I (along with the golf, lacrosse and tennis heads) started finding new ways to amuse ourselves during this important, yet repetitive process.

So I started telling the campers that on the 4th activity day they'd need to bring a long list of ridiculous items to archery (including a bathing suit, flashlight, and a moist towelette) because we'd be hunting chipmunks. The boys went nuts, but one little girl stands up and says with the saddest eyes "we're not REALLY going to kill the chicken monks are we?"

I died.

[Smudge]

In 2003 I worked at a camp where we used camp names. I convinced on of the campers that the reason we all had camp names was cos we all had the same name - and that it would be a bit difficult to know who was wanted if they just called out our name (interestingly this particular summer we had 6 sarahs and 3 nicoles). When she asked about the one male member of staff I told her that he had a camp name so he wouldn't feel left out.

With my program manager we convinced her that everyone was called Ermntrude and the male was called Engleburt. She spent the rest of the session calling everyone Ermintrude and Engleburt.

I think we even convinced her that it was one of the pre-requisits of working at the camp.

[Giggles]

haha I love this thread!!

my second or third grade camper said this when talking to the other girls. Let's just say, this is not a religious camp!

"I know Jesus' birthday! Easter!" hahaha, my counselor (I was a CIT then) just laughed and said, "how ironic?" haha

[Strand]

One of my campers asked me this question. "Have you ever been lost out in these woods? Pondering the question I answered. "Fearsomely confused yes, but never lost."

[NightOwl]

So here are a few of the camper quotes from my staff book that I reall like:

"Piranha, Do you know people eat you?"

"I hate dead things. They can all just die!"

"Is that Day Camp?" - camper pointing to Horse Country

[audur]

The funniest thing I have EVER heard a camper say was when, during a nature activity, we were discussing bats. The nature specialist asked the girls if they knew what "nocturnal" meant. It was dead silent, and all of a sudden one little brownie said, very serious expression on her face: Sometimes nocturnal means you're allergic to cheese.

[Smudge]

haha! That is really funny!

[ARam_Kelp]

In 2003 I worked at a camp where we used camp names. I convinced on of the campers that the reason we all had camp names was cos we all had the same name - and that it would be a bit difficult to know who was wanted if they just called out our name (interestingly this particular summer we had 6 sarahs and 3 nicoles). When she asked about the one male member of staff I told her that he had a camp name so he wouldn't feel left out.

We have camp names at my camp too. So we have convinced kids that our camp names are our real names by telling them our parents were hippies (my favorite), telling kids that to be a camp counselor you had to have a wierd name, and telling them that where we came from it was a popular name.

My camp name is Kelp. One morning i was at the fishing dock with a group of brownies and one of them caught an impressivly large clump of lake weed. She then yelled "It's you're family" and threw at me, then spent several minutes giggling histarically. This has happened with other campers several other times since then.

One night I was sitting at the dinner table and a camper, about 11, looked up at me a said "you should go out with my brother's friend Bill." I felt this was sort of a random statement a asked why. She replied "because you say 'indeed' like he does"

[Smudge]

Hehe! ARam the funniest thing about my story is that the name i convinced her we were all called was Ermintrude which isnt exactly a name you come across very often! But still I got her to belive me.

Other times i would tell the campers that my real names was Dimelsa (which is what my mother wanted to call me) but I would only tell them that if they asked during the last night shack party!

[ARam_Kelp]

People at our camp have never really gotten creative with telling kids false real names though at one point we did all adopt generic guy's name and there's always one person who claims their real name is Boufanda.

[Smudge]

hehe! Last summer i refused to tell the campers my real name! Although this year I am thinking of Princess Consquela Bananahammock (as in what pheobie in friends wanted to change her name to!)

[ARam_Kelp]

Nice! We traditionaly tell campers our real name on the last day of the session. We once a counselor who tried to name herself Supreme Galactic Overlord, but the CD didn't go for it.

[Smudge]

hehe! At my camp we choose whether to use camp names and if we do them it is entirely up to us if we tell the girls what our real names are if we use camp names - last year I just said at camp I am Smudge.

[Nugget]

I'd go threw and try to refer everyone as buddy friend pal etc. for a week, or to go between areas an trade with other staff random stuff, one time it was strips of caution tape, for used model rocket engines for a deflated inflatable blue ball, for a slightly broken but still very usable carabiner for a venom spiderman mask. i call that sucessful.

[Smudge]

Our adventure director is very accident prone and this summer she started the summer with her hand in a cast. Anyway she was doing something silly and our business manager said to her "just cos you have extra padding doesnt mean you can be extra stupid!" It really made me laugh.

[Strand]

Justin King. My partner in crime. I have been at camp with his for close to 3 years now, and we have been friends since 97'. Now Justin happens to be a little heavy. But can lift a mule, and whatever the mule is carrying. He is strong. But always happy.

One day a camper called him "fat".

Justin's response was:

"Fat? I'll have you know that I have the body of a supremely enlightened individual! Unfortunately that enlightened individual happens to be Buddha."