Self-Esteem Games

[prettysocks]

This isn't camp related... but it's still "working with children" related, so bear with me!

I'm having a hard time finding resources on self-esteem. I hate lecturing my girls (and don't do it), so I'm looking for a game or activity that teaches and encourages Guides (girls ages 9-12) self-esteem, self-respect, etc. Any ideas?

Thank you! :D

[Flukie]

Our Juniors (same age as your Guides) have a tough time with a lot of those issues as well. We've done a few different activities - mostly variations of each other, but they've really enjoyed them.

Brag Bags - Each girl decorated a paper sandwich bag with her name, glitter, feathers, etc. Girls are then given on slip of paper for every other girl in the group. They write a positive comment about all the other girls on the paper, and slip it into their bags. Then they take it home and look over all the things people said about them. (We made a HUGE deal about being positive - and they all were.)

Happiness Game - Write each girl's name on a sheet of white paper and place them around the room in a circular shape. Have each girl pick a paper and stand there. She writes something she likes on the paper and then moves to the next paper until she has written something for everyone.


The Junior GS Uniquely Me! Book has also gotten good reviews from other leaders I've talked with. (http://shop.girlscouts.org/frames.asp?cartID=07BF3F57&store=bookshop) It presents issues that these girls cope with all the time in a way that they can relate too.

Another thing we've done when bullying or rudeness has become an issue is to use the "Ginger Story" or the "Susie Story". (http://www.scoutingweb.com/scoutingweb/SubPages/selfesteem.htm) This works well with the 9-11 year olds especially when a conversations on how words have hurt you follow.


I hope that helps you out some! Best of luck - that is such a hard age to work with - it's so rewarding at the same time it's frustrating! (That is why I leave them up to my co-leaders - I work with the Daisies, Brownies and the one 11th grader!)
Friendship Circle - This works best with a larger group of girls. Have the girls sit around the room in a circle. Have one girl sit in the middle with her eyes closed. Pick a girl at random to speak first. She says one thing she admires or likes about the other girl. This goes around the circle until everyone has said something. Then the girl in the middle picks someone else to go into the middle. (We did this at pre-camp one year, and it was so cool to hear what others had to say about you!)

[KiwiCRB]

I read this idea somewhere and absolutely loved it, I just don't know how well it would work.

I can't remember where I got this from but here is what the web site said.
This works best for Junior campers, ours are eight to ten. You wake them up one night at around eleven...whenever you can be sure they've all fallen asleep. Then you bring them to the rec hall or whatever buliding is most appropriate. There, it is all lit up with candles and the girls sit down. They shouldn't be talking, it should be quiet. Next the Indian Princess walks in (you might need to change the name for political correctness)(Indian Princess is the wife of one of our male staff members at our camp) Indian princess has a bag of feathers and a list of why each girl is special (the counselor writes out these reasons beforehand so they are personal) Every girl gets called up and handed a feather and told why she is special. Then they get quietly put back to bed. When they wake up in the morning a lot of them (especially the younger girls) think it was a dream but then they see their feather and they know....

It's really really cute and the girls always look back on it fondly, it really makes them feel good.

[prettysocks]

Flukie, you ROCK (me socks)!! Thank you. So much. Any more games, guys? (Flukie, I will use your ideas... I just... these girls need help, eh!

And Kiwi! That's ADORABLE! (Unfortunately it's just for weekly meetings, and I don't wake up in the night unless neccessary) but nevertheless VERY CUTE!

Any more super duper ideas?

[drink the wild air]

I can't think of any specific games off the top of my head. When I have done activites like this with girls we usually do like discussion groups. A possibility is making a game that I know into it. You could give out pieces of paper and ask questions like how concerned are you about weight? looks? etc., collect them all, and then go through them anonymously to show girls that they arent alone in their feelings. Obviously it would then need to be followed up by something to counteract those negativities. When I worked in an eating disorder facility we used to do body tracings during art therapy. The girls would trace themselves and write all the things they saw that they didnt like when they looked at themselves. Then the others would write over it with the things they did like about them. Or they would write whats 'actually' there opposed to whats percieved. Then we would usually burn them for symbolic measures (somehow burning things always makes people feel better). It may be a bit too old for the age group you are working with - but Jean Kilbourne is awesome, any of her work. She does a lot of movies/books/lectures on womens self image and media influence, etc. She rocks, I've seen her speak. Anyways thats a lot of blabber but maybe some of it helps!

[powers]

Prettysocks- I know how you feel! I get really worked up over the way the media, advertising and 'be healthy' programs in schools tell girls to judge themselves by their bodies and that they will never be good enough, but its really hard to communicate that to my guides without sounding like a lecturer / bitter podgy feminist.

This idea is more related to body image, but its a good way to start them thinking about their self esteem: we get each patrol to bring in girly magazines and then they have to cut out bits that promote positive and negative self esteems- like an article saying 'it's good to be different' compared to 'i lost 10 stone so boys would like me'- and stick them in to two big collages. This gets them thinking about the mixed messages these magazines send out, we then stuck the 'good things' one on the wall and screwed up the 'bad things' one and played football with it. burning would also be fun!

I like the happy-bag type ideas, but I'm not sure how much I'd trust all my guides to be nice! Also, I think it's important for them to write something about themselves, maybe as a journal or time-capsule where they can look back on it over time.One idea i like is on www.about-face.org- there are photos of lots of different people holding up signs saying "i don't need plastic surgery because..." and they fill in the rest- maybe do an adaption like "i'm beautiful because..." or "I'm glad I'm me because..." which would be quite nice to do with guides!

I'll keep thinking- let's make our girls love themselves!

[campnerd99]

This is sort of a variation on Flukie's 'Friendship Circle' The girls sit in a circle, but no one is in the middle instead one girl is given a ball of yarn/string. The girl who has the yarn hold on to the end and throws the ball to somebody else, they then tell that girl a memory of them, somethign they admire or anything else positive. That girl then hold on to the piece of yarn and throws the ball to somebody else. The end result is a 'spider web' you can then ither leave it at that or go in to a discussion about the web and how it symbolizes everybody is connected and loved.

[who_stole_my_loofa]

use the info on the Dove website- also if you go back a few weeks-- i had a thread going about body image activities. i think it was under the title Dove something or other

[triplethreat]

There is a very good book on this topic called "The Optimistic Child". I would encourage anyone who is very interested in this topic to read it - it was very enlightening, and helps us to recognize some of the behavior that we (as counselors, parents, teachers, etc) might be doing that actually hinder self-confidence instead of promoting it.

[happy_camper]

This is similar to the "Brag Bags", but it's still worth posting.

In 8th grade we did what we called "Warm Fuzzies" (the name comes from the feeling you get when you read them). Find a box and have the group decorate it. The group members then write down (throughout the week) things that others have done or that they have seen others do that were nice/respectful/kind and put them in the box. At the end of the week (or halfway through the week, or whatever you decide) read the contents of the box to the group.
To further the activity, you can make warm fuzzies.
Here's directions:
1. Take a ball of yarn and wrap it around a 2inch square piece of cardboard about 100 times (it really doesn't matter how many times you wrap it, but the more the bigger your warm fuzzy will be)
2. Cut the yarn off the ball
3.Cut about a 6 inch piece of yarn off the ball and thread it underneath all the yarn you wrapped (thread between yarn and cardboard)
4. Tie the loose ends around all the yarn, pulling tightly
5. On the opposite sides of the cardboard, cut through all the yarn
6. Fluff!
http://www.timolson.com/fuzzyday2000.htm (this one is for mass-production of fuzzies :) )

In 6th grade, we did another similar activity. Have everyone write down the names of everyone in the group. Next to each name, have everyone write down one nice/positive thing about the person. Collect all the lists and compile them into one list per person, but do not put who said what on their individual lists, then pass out the lists to the group members. It's really cool to see what people said about you, and it is something they can keep forever and read whenever they are feeling down.

If you are a Girl Scout, the Zinc the Zebra has self-esteem boosting and positive group activities.

Here's another self-esteem site: http://cals.arizona.edu/pubs/family/az1041.pdf

I hope all that made sense. :)