Recognizing Someone's Escalating Behaviour: Tips and Techniques

[Campy Measius]

Recognizing Someone's Escalating Behavior:
Tips and Techniques to Use to Help Stop an Out of Control Person

We can recognize someone's escalating behaviour and try to stop it:

Two stages can be identified:

1. The individual becomes anxious.
We can recognize anxiety in an individual by noticing a change in their typical behaviour, (pacing, staring, finger drumming, fidgety, fast talking etc.)
Staff should:Be supportive, use empathy and be non-judgmental. Talk to the person to try to figure out what is bothering them.

2. The individual becomes defensive.
They can show defensiveness by being argumentative and challenging.Staff should set limits and/or give choices and consequences.

When we notice an individual is anxious or argumentative, it is important to keep in mind Non Verbal Behaviours.

1. Personal Space:
Usually 1 to 1.5 feet surrounding us. People see this space as an extension of themselves. Some factors involved are:
i. Relationship to the person
ii. Their culture
iii. A person's hygiene
iv. Their body language
v. Their emotional state
vi. Their gender
vii. Personal history

- It is important to understand that almost anything can be a factor in determining Personal Space.
- Not allowing a person to have their Personal Space can elevate their levels of anxiety, and escalate the situation.

2. Body Language:

- The non-verbal aspects of communication transmitted through body posture and motion.
- You can read someone's body language be watching their eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, posture, and movements.

Another aspect of communication is Paraverbal Communication.
- This is the vocal part of speech, other than the actual words, (how we say, what we say). Some elements involved:
Tone of voice
Volume (loud or soft)
Rate and rhythm of speech

*55-80% of what people are trying to communicate is through Non Verbal communication*

When we are talking to an individual, we want to keep in mind the way we (as staff) are standing. We should be at a relaxed posture, with our hands to our sides and palms open, off to one side at about a 45-degree angle, paying close attention to personal space. If the person is much shorter than yourself or in a wheel chair you may want to lower yourself to their level.

When a person is being defensive (being argumentative and challenging), it is a good idea to allow this person to vent. Try to remove them from the group or move the group away from the person who is being defensive. This will allow the person to "blow off steam".

If at this point, staff need to set limits, because the person is being argumentative and challenging (defensive), this person may start to ask questions. There are two types of questions that may be asked.

1. Information seeking question.Staff should answer this question if they are able to.

2.Challenging question.Staff should ignore this question and re-direct the individual back to the topic and hand, or set limits.

Keys to setting limits:

They should be
-Simple
-Clear
-Enforceable
-Reasonable
-Appropriate
-Fair
-Age appropriate
-Immediate (if possible)

Verbal intervention tips and techniques:

Staff should:
-Remain calm
-Pay attention to what is being said
-Assertive (without being bossy)
-Be non-judgmental

Staff should not:
-Be threatening
-Yell
-Lecture
-Argue
-Trivialize
-Blame
-Interrupt

Empathic Listening:
Trying to figure out what someone is trying to communicate.

Staff should:
-Give undivided attention
-Use paraphrasing/ restatement to clarify conversation
-Use silence for refection
-Listen for feelings and intent, not just facts and content
-Be non-judgmental

Precipitating Factors:
Precipitating Factors are internal or external causes of acting out behaviour.
Possible factors:
-Fear
-Need to maintain self-esteem
-Current events
-Family life
It's important to understand that almost anything can be a Precipitating Factor for someone.

Important Terms:

Rational Detachment:
Our ability as staff to maintain professionalism and not take the acting out behaviour personally.

Integrated Experience:
The idea or concept that staff attitude and behaviour will affect client (camper) attitude and behaviour and vice versa.

This is more of an outline of a presentation from my camps training session. We are able to get a lot more out of it by talking about it as a group and using examples.

[Dave]

Great article. Very informative! :D Thanks for submitting. :)

[who_stole_my_loofa]

very nice! thank you for your contributions!

[collissimon]

I really liked reading this article, have you got any advice about remaining detached: this is usually the hardest thing to achieve!

[CAMPFRIEND]

Great article! I hop that people read and use the information during the summer to help them out. This is somthing that I know that I will pass along to my staff!

[Campy Measius]

I really liked reading this article, have you got any advice about remaining detached: this is usually the hardest thing to achieve!

I totally agree Collissimon, staying detached is such a hard thing to do. Sometimes campers can get so angry and say some pretty hurtful things if you take them to heart. I just have to constantly remind myself that this person doesn't really know me, and he or she probably doesn't mean what they're saying, they're just lashing out becuase they're upset. (They may really think that I am a b*tch or whatever... but that's ok because in the end, I'm doing what I can to help them) And also, this is probably how they deal with their friends...
To be completely honest, experience is the best way to learn how to handle situations like these, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish an aggressive situation on anyone. But after a few summers of being a counselor, I find it harder to phase me than it was when I first started.
Also, talking to co-staff or a director after being in an intense situation def helps... they can tell you how wonderful you are for a few minutes to counteract what's been yelled at you by an angry camper. :rolleyes:

[collissimon]

Campy Measius,

You made some good points there, my first summer, a kid turned round to me after we dealt with a 'situation', and said 'I hate you'. I just kinda went 'OK', got him to the trampoline and said to my co, I've got to go have 10 mins! It was silly, but when you're tired, you do take it to heart!

You do learn through those kind of experiences though, and I think they're very valuable. I've dealt with a couple of aggressive campers,and it's not nice, but it is satisfying in a way, because you have a situation that pushes your limits, and they you realise that your limits are further than you first thought (does that make sense), so you have the confidence with other campers in the future, which I think they subconsciously pick up on.

I think the hardest situation is when a kid hits themselves, because when they're trying to hit you, it's a lot easy to stop yourself being a target, but you can't do the same with the kid!

[Campy Measius]

Collissimon,
My first summer as a camper, we had an adult camper with special needs who started hitting himself during a group activity. I had no idea what to do, it was pretty upsetting, my director was awesome though, I learned a lot from that situation.
Maybe you can give some advice on what you've done or would do different in that type of situation.

[collissimon]

I think the main difference between my situation and yours is the size of a child and an adult.

With mine, the child was trying to bite his own arms, and punch his own head. Due to the damage he was doing to himself, I had to restrain his upper body (I was not at risk), so I crossed his arms over his chest and held them there. This stopped most harm, because he couldn't punch himself, nor bite himself, though he did try. I kept eye contact, and talked him down, we couldn't address the behaviour that began the situation, until he was rational to discuss it. We have an Intervention Team, and I did call them, but by the time they got there, I had dealt with it myself.

I have dealt with adults in the past, though these have had severe mental disabilities, which does change it slightly, because they didn't have the motor skills of the camper. He used to get into repetitive behaviours and hit his head. He was really big (I was just 18, and he was 19 and about 6' compared to my more modest 5'7''!), so you couldnt stop him completely, but we used to hold his arm and try to distract him, to stop him getting into a loop. I suppose some autistic use it as 'stimming': repetitive behaviour to kick the brain waves into gear.

(Shotgun this as an article!)

[Pooka]

Wow, great article and great advice, Campy Measius. I can definately see myself using these techniques this summer.

[audur]

Nice article - it has some great pointers!

About staying detached - experience is pretty much the only things that helps you become better at it (at least it is, in my case). By now, I can handle a verbally aggressive person just fine - the thing that gets to me is when one of my kids get's "stuck" in negative mode and I'm unable to get them out of it quickly... and it happens pretty frequently, because many of my kids are unable to allow anyone to help them out in a situation like that. And by now, I just feel so bad for the kid, who's stuck there screaming IhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyou without anyone or anything being able to help. It truly sucks.

My favorite line to use in a situation where a child is yelling, throwing things or hurting themselves is "I can see you're mad, and that's okay..." - works like a charm! A lot of people are really surprised when you say that... it's like "Huh? You acknowledge that my feelings are real and valid? Well then... what do I do now?" I've had big boys who moments before were trashing a room start crying and want to sit in my lap, after I use that line.

[collissimon]

I like that line, I might have to nab that this summer!

[Dave]

I don't think I've heard that line before, but it sounds like a good one! I'll have to try that out this summer. :D (Well, hopefully I won't have a need to.)