Campers who can’t lose!

[CAMPFRIEND]

I know that we have all had to deal with campers who when they lose they throw a fit, cry, scream and sometime walk off. Most of the time kids will be trying to get attention of their counselor, just like they do when they are at home with their parents. The problem is that parents will baby their children to get them to calm down. In my experience this is a perfect opportunity for the campers to grow.

First step: Tell the campers that it’s ok to lose. Don’t make a big deal of it. Most of the time the camper will walk away from you or the game at this point and do their little pout. Let them, just make sure that you keep an eye on them and they don’t go too far. Give them time to cool off or cry. Make sure during all of this that you keep the rest of the camper is your group going on some activity. One of two things will happen the camper sees that you are not paying attention to them they might get louder or they might want to come back and join the game.

If they come back and want to play: Make sure that you reinforce that it’s a game and we will not win all the time. We are at camp to have fun!! Make sure that the camper understands then let them back in the game or activity.

If they still keep crying: Walk over to them and ask what’s wrong? The camper will either not talk or tell you that it’s not fair or the other team cheated or they might come up with something different. Don’t feel sorry for the camper talk to the and say we can’t win all the time. Don’t give them a reason to argue with you. Don’t say that you know the other team cheated or agree with what they say. Tell them it’s a game, there is a chance that you might win or loose. It’s not about that it’s about having fun! After you make that statement tell the camper that you are going back to the rest of the group and you would like the camper to come with you. Make sure you tell them that they don’t have to play but they need to be with the group, if they want to play reinforce that it’s not about winning it’s just a game. The camper should come back with you to the group with you they might play they might not, but you made it their choice.

I think that the big thing is not to make this situation a big deal. The bigger you make it the worse it will become. For some campers it will be the first time that they have been told its ok not to win or it’s just a game.

Good Luck!

[Dave]

Nice article, campfriend. I'll be sure to keep this in mind next summer. Now I know I was doing it all wrong. :P

[code3cadet]

Ya good job I like it> I think this is the best way to do it.

[CAMPFRIEND]

I don't think that you were doing anything wrong. We all have our own style and this works for some and not for others. I hope that it works for you!

[Dave]

What I was doing didn't work though. I'll have to try this out next summer. Hopefully it'll work better than what I've been doing.

[CAMPFRIEND]

It should work. I have used it a lot.

Good luck!

[camper]

haha dave what were you doing wrong to keep us from making the same mistakes?

[Dave]

Well I was a bit more persistant to get them to play first. I'd keep asking them to keep playing instead of letting them go and cool off. I would eventually let them go and cool off. After they'd walk away for a bit, it wouldn't be long until I went and talked to them again. I wouldn't really give them a cooling off period because I just hated watching them sit there doing nothing. This would often result in them getting even more upset. If that happened, I'd let another counselor deal with it from there (which was actually one of speed's techniques I think).

[camper]

most of the time when a kid is a bad sport at the end of a game it's the END of the game, after the activity is over. so if this is the case, it's easy to let the kid go cool off.

[who_stole_my_loofa]

I agree with what camper said above me.

I had a camper that was sooooo incredibly athletic and competitive. If she lost she would be convinced that the other person was cheating. She would usually just be bitter for like 20 minutes and then forget about it cause something else would distract her.

Loofa

[camper]

haha yeah loofa i had a girl in my age group as a camper who was always the best athlete for our age that i have ever seen in my life, anywhere. we called her "superhuman" haha . she could play ANY sport, and no matter what, even though she was playing a bunch of girls who were all less talented than she was, some of us MUCH less talented, she always got really intense...we were actually an age group of great athletes for the most part so for teams the grouphead would put the next 2 best athletes on the opposite team from her. whenever her team was losing in anything, whether it be a regular activity, color war, or even an intercamp, she would always try to blame everyone else. i can't remember the number of times my mom made counselors take her out of the game until she could control her anger on the court/field. she got better as we got older though...now she plays college soccer!

[CAMPFRIEND]

I have also had campers like this over the years. I have to say they did sit out of games a lot. The got better when they learned it's not about winning at camp, but about fun. Stay on those campers and make sure that you step in before the blame starts!

[Dave]

One of the kids from my first bunk was like this. He'd actually win so much the other kids would accuse him of cheating. And of course if he lost he'd get upset (the whole, it's not fair bit). Last summer, whenever our bunk would play his bunk in a sport and we lost, all my kids would blame him immediately of cheating. Now I knew he didn't cheat (he really doesn't cheat), but the other counselors would sometimes believe the kids. Well I'm not going to be with his age group next summer so I won't have to deal with him anymore, even though I liked him.

[CAMPFRIEND]

I think that we will all have campers sometime like this. I don't think that it matters what group you are in!

[rockinsmiles]

Yeahhhh i think the older campers realize they can loose but they become real competitive!

[CAMPFRIEND]

I think that it's the same for all ages. The older kids my not cry as much if they loose! Pending on the camper!

[collissimon]

That's an ace article Campfriend, kudos to you! :D

I think a really good way to try and head this off is to set it up in a non-competitive way: I really like camp to be non-competitive if possible, or at least controlled in the way they compete, so when I'm planning evening activities, on the ULs day off, I will run through a little routine with them asking them what they get if they come first? 'Absolutely Nothing!' and what do they get if they come last? 'Absolutely Nothing!'. This usually also riles them up and gets them excited about the activity too, which is sometimes very helpful!

At the end of an activity as well, if it involves gaining points, I'll tell the counsellor the points (usually a little bit fudged as well!), who won't tell the kids till they get back to their bunk. This means they get the sense of achievement in completing the activity, but they won't be in direct competition with other bunks, because they will have forgotten all about the points by the next morning!

[Dave]

I was in a sticky situation a few times this past summer. My bunk would be playing against my bunk from the summer before in a game (usually ga ga where it's a free-for-all). So it was so hard for me to get any of the kids out because it was like they were all mine. In the end I had to support my current bunk, but boy was it hard to the other kids out when they felt just like my own kids. Just look at those kids in the logo. It was hard to turn against them. :( It definitely wasn't easy to get my favorites from the previous summer out.

[CAMPFRIEND]

It's all part of the game Dave. You will have a lot of campers over the next few summers.