Campers who didn't want to go to camp

[Dave]

Have you ever had campers in your bunk that just didn't want to be at camp? I don't mean homesick, or just having a bad day. But campers who were probably forced to go to camp by their parents?

I had one of those kids last summer. He refused to listen. He'd always tell us he hated camp and he was forced to go. He was also a poor sport and would cry if he ever lost. To top it off he partially blamed us (the counselors) for him going to camp. So he hated us. Yes, he told us he hated us. One time one of my co-counselors was on the zip line, and this kid told him he hoped he fell off and broke his leg. He's also tell us not to die while on the zip line. What a pain he was.

[Skater Bubbles]

I have never had that problem, most of the kids at my camp come because they beg their parents to let them and they all love it so much!!

[who_stole_my_loofa]

I'm sure there are some kids at your camp that don't want to be there skater.

In my unit last year we had a girl who did not want to be there. She terrorized her counselors and threw fits and was mean to the other campers. The first time I saw her just sitting there I went up to her and was like "hey there whats going on blah blah blah" and she screamed at me.

[rockinsmiles]

I had a girl this past year whoes first words to me were "i want to go home." i dont think she was homesick and she never threw a fit..she just didnt want to be at camp. She handled it very maturely and i felt bad because she couldnt go home (there was no one to pick her up). it was one of my harder weeks and i also feel bad that i didnt find out why she wanted to go home.

And ive had the acting out camper who didnt want to be there. i was actually a CIT but i saw him sitting all by himself and so asked what was wrong. he didnt answer so then asked if he wanted to talk about it. he was like no so i just sat beside him for some time. then he started talking. about how he hated camp and hated the people at camp and all this other stuff. i didnt know what to say back. not just because i love camp but because i couldnt put myself into disliking so many people and being so negative.

i really feel bad for campers who are "dumped" at camp. because they cant just go home and probably home isnt the best place for them.

[Skater Bubbles]

Ok Loofa, fine so maybe there are campers at my camp that don't want to be there but I have never run across one. At my day camp though there were always kids who didn't want to be there cause there parents never asked them if they wanted to come, they just dumped them, kinda lika a day care.

[camper]

trust me EVERY camp has a few kids that don't want to be there. you don't know what happened before the kids left for camp and if they told their parents whether or not they wanted to go. some kids that don't want anyone to feel bad for them or want anyone to know will put on an act that they like camp to fit in. you just never know. a lot of times though it will be obvious and the only thing you can do is be there for that kid and try to make their experience better, also you should keep in close contact w/the parents so they know you're doing everything you can to help. also help the kid understand why their parents want them to be at camp.

[Dave]

We all tried everything you mentioned, camper. This kid went to the extreme to make it hell for us. If we'd tell him to participate in an activity with the bunk, he'd come over for about 30 seconds then walk away doing whatever he wanted. I think there might have been something wrong with him (mentally) as well. Maybe a little autism or something. Not sure.

[Trees]

At the full-summer sleepaway camps (like camper's) do the parents ever come pick up the kids partway through, because the kids don't like it? Is it true that a lot of the wealthy parents are traveling or busy during the summer, so they couldn't get the kids anyway?

[camper]

it is VERY rare that a camper goes home in the middle of the summer. most of the time the parents are on the camp's side and want their kid to stay because they feel like the kid needs to stick it out if they don't like it. unless we're the ones sending the camper home for something they've done, there's a medical reason, or we can't do anything to stop it, no one leaves. i would say that only once every few summers a kid leaves in the middle...i can't remember the last time it happened and i can only think of 1 or 2 times since i've been in camp (14 summers) that has happened just b/c the kid didn't like camp.

when parents say, "the letters are terrible, she's saying she wants to come home and we don't know what to do and she wants to come home on visiting day" we tell them NOT to tell their daughter that if they still feel that way on visiting day, they'll take her home...the parent should do the opposite and encourage the kid to stick it out. we tell them to say, "i'm sorry you feel that way, but we think that camp is a great place. we trust the directors and your counselors and your grouphead to take good care of you and you're going to stay. after the summer, we'll reevaluate the situation and talk about next summer, but this summer you're staying. see you visiting day!" it helps that the kids only have 2 phone calls before visiting day, not many chances for bad phone calls, and most parents call us as soon as they get a "bad" letter so we can work w/them and their daughter. of course, it doesn't even happen a whole lot and most of the time the bad letter was just b/c of something that happened in the bunk that has been resolved since then.

as for what you said about the wealthy parents traveling, we ask that parents give us detailed itineraries for traveling and call us if they plan an unexpected trip and give us contact info, and also give us a few options for contacts if we can't reach them. i actually had a bunkmate as a camper whose parents called to tell her that they had just planned a trip to bermuda and were leaving the next day for a week, and give her a hotel phone number. if we need to reach parents, it's almost never a problem. the parents would NEVER miss visiting day either, so if we need to we'll meet w/the family then. believe it or not, most of the parents are REALLY invested in their childrens' lives. and that whole thing about parents being busy...that's disgusting and i've never heard anything like it or had an experience w/a camp parent who wouldn't be there if we needed to discuss their child. but like i said, we have our ways of keeping every kid in camp all summer...no one just picks up and leaves b/c they don't like it. and chances are that kid will be back the next summer and love it, and then come back for the rest of their lives!

[Trees]

Thanks, camper, that was really interesting--and it's good to know that the parents really do care about their kids and stay involved. This is a fairly common stereotype on the "outside"--that eight-week camps are full of kids who barely know their parents. (Just exploring stereotypes, here, not criticizing anyone's camp or lifestyle! I begged my parents to send me to an eight-week camp.)

Our kids just come for 4-8 days, and they want to go home all the time; a lot of their parents have promised to come pick them up if they don't like it. Just like you, nobody really does go home from our camp, and almost everyone ends up liking it in the end. But I've heard of a lot of camps (and was at one once) where the director just calls the parents at the first or second "I WANT TO GO HOME!" and leaves it at that. Poor kid!

My guess is that a lot of parents send their kids to our camp before the kid is really ready, and definitely before the parents are really ready. I don't think anyone's going to send their kid away for two months if they're not pretty sure it's going to be OK on both sides--but a lot of parents think "oh, I can handle four days" and it turns out they can't.

[who_stole_my_loofa]

our kids are not allowed to email or make phone calls. only letters. if they go to an amusement park then they can use the phone there. and some of the kids sneak their cell phones. it helps a lot that they can only write letters cause they dont get as homesick.. unless of course they aren't getting letters back- which sadly for some kids does happen.

Loofa

[camper]

oh our kids have 3 scheduled phone calls- 2 before visiting day and one after, they get about 8 mins. on the phone for each call. and they're only allowed to call their parents. we also take away all cell phones on when the kids get to camp- most parents are really good and abide by the "don't send your kid to camp w/a cell phone" thing but there are always the few that do, i guess not realizing that they won't work anyway...i have never even seen a kid ATTEMPT to use their cell phone at camp nor did any of us as campers. the only times were on trips and their phones were immediately taken away, especially b/c it was mostly senior girls who get to alternate bunks and use the phones some nights.

and trees, yeah, that's the opposite of what you're supposed to do, that "you can come home if you want" thing. b/c it automatically gets it in the kid's head..."if i'm bad or not happy they'll come get me." it's setting the child up for failure.

also, i guess i understand that the thing about the parents at 8 week camps is a stereotype, but i assure you that it is not true in most cases. of course, there are those few who talk more about their housekeepers/nannies than their parents, but about 98% of the kids have VERY involved parents, almost too involved as far as camp goes sometimes, haha (ever heard the phrase "helicopter parents"?) sometimes the parents want their kids to be perfect, so they end up hovering over their children. so at camp we want them to make their own decisions and do things for themselves.

also, most of the kids' parents grew up in the same type of environment and went to our camp or others in the area and want their kids to have the same great experiences they had at camp. there's a lot of tradition in 8 week camps that goes back to my parents' generation and my grandparents' generation and even further back than that...i know that in my family my grandparents, my mom and her 2 sisters, and me and all my cousins all went/go to our camp and we all live for it. 8 week camps are a way of life for so many families, and they bring those families so close together that you wouldn't believe it. one of my best camp friends' moms went to our camp, insisted that she go too, and now my friend says that she and her mom have this great bond because of it...camp gives them a common thing in their lives that they'll always be able to talk about. most of the kids can't wait to get to camp. just some more thoughts...haha!

[Flukie]

I admit... The last session, we did send them home if they were totally miserable. We had three campers that just hated being there - they hadn't wanted to come in the first place (all were sorta coerced by friends) and just cried and moped. They were 5th, 6th, and 7th graders. We sent them home. We were understaffed (we lost two ad-staff members and were down 3 trained ULs - one was fired, one went home early and one was sick all week in my tent!) and the staff couldn't handle sparing one staff all day to keep these kids happy. So we called home. All three parents had told their kids if they wanted to come home, they could. One insisted on coming to see her child because it would make it better (obviously, it didn't). We let them go.

It was the first time we've EVER done that. And we really don't want to ever do it again. It was a fantastic week of camp though once they left! Everyone wanted to be there (okay, that's a lie - one was just a pain) and had a fairly good time.

[ocean]

I had that problem once and it was so sad because they didnt want to do anything, and they had to go home early. Their parents didnt get their money back either.

[campCardinal]

I was really sad last summer to send one of my girls home. It was a rough week, and this girl really shouldn't have been in my cabin. She fought all the time, but she was sneaky about it. She did it when she thought our backs were turned (which was rare because we had four counselors in our bunk and only 6 girls). It was a good thing that we were overstaffed that week. We sat down with the girl and tried finding out what was causing all of her outbursts.... but she just kept telling us she was sorry and she wouldn't do it again. We called home and her mother talked to her about her behavior. However, it just wasn't enough. Wednesday afternoon after jumping on people in the pool and punching another camper in the stomach we sent her home. We tried really hard with her, but she just didn't want to be at camp. The worst was, I knew she came from a not so great home life. I really wish I could have provided her with a full week to be a kid, but she just wasn't fit for the camp experience.

[Skater Bubbles]

I once had a 14 year old boy pull out his cell phone and try to call someone during one of my classes!! He just wipped it out and I just took it away!! I gave it to my director, the kid was mad at me and I was THINKING, if your going to have a cell phone at least hide it c'mmon kid!!

[rockinsmiles]

Yeah campers (nor CITs) are allowed to have cell phones while at camp. the counselors can only use theirs during off times. If we are trying to decide to send a camper home though the director will call the camper's guardian..i dont think the camper ever talks to their parents while at camp. im was happy that i didnt have any girls sent home this past summer but one of the guys did go home. however he was extremely homesick. I think that if campers are going to camp for the whole summer they and their parents have a lot more invested in it. Its a bit different for week long camps i think.

[campnerd99]

Unfourtunatly I've had the experience of being in a cabin with somebody who was 'forced' to come to camp. The big problem with that at my camp is that it is a church camp, thus there are some religious activites. Not to sterotype or anything, however most of the campers that don't want to be there spend the whole time talking about how they don't believe in God. This can sometimes make things very akward for the campers that want to be there.

[KiwiCRB]

It's worse when the counselor is the one who doesn't want to be there. Believe me.

[who_stole_my_loofa]

oh I'll second that for sure! Believe it or not we have an occasional staff member whos parents force them to work at camp. so lame

[Dave]

I'll second that as well. I've never really had to deal with staff that were forced to go to camp, but I've dealt with CITs who were forced to go. Our bunk went through three CITs this past summer. You're usually only supposed to have one. Our first one quit the first week of camp.

Our second one was the worst. He was with us for two weeks. He'd do everything wrong on purpose to try and get fired (not that he was really staff). To make matters worse, he'd do stuff to try and get us fired! In the end he wasn't fired, but he was moved to a different division.

Our third CIT was with us for the last three weeks of camp. We all hated him. At first he was horrible. He called a kid an idiot to his face. The kid went home and told his parents. This made us look bad. Anyway, after a while he got the hang of things, but he was the most annoying kid I've ever met. He never shut up, and he talked about the stupidest stuff. He would always talk to me on AIM. On the last day of camp I blocked him. :P

Those are my CIT horror stories.

[KiwiCRB]

I don't think it was so much they were forced to go. It was just when they got there it wasn't cut out for them, but some people didn't realilze this until they actually had campers.

[rockinsmiles]

We had a counselor this past summer that his parents (well at least his mom) thought it would be a good idea to go to camp. for him to stay out of trouble, which by the way he didnt believe he was in. the thing was that his parents were matching the pay he was receiving for working at camp. nobody liked him that much and he finally was fired.

im not sure if we have had cits who just didnt want to be at camp or who just were annoying. but i sware that is the most varring position at camp...you never know what your are going to get! and thats coming from a 3 year CIT :D

[Flukie]

Now, in all fairness, I love having international staff. However, when the CEO of the GS Council asks them why they came to camp, it really doesn't look good when they all answer, "For the travel experience after camp!" EEK! Lol.

That said, they did a fine job all summer long.

I have worked with staff that didn't want to be there and it bites. Especially, when it divides the staff into cliques that effect everyone. Not cool at all.

[audur]

We had a bunch of international staff this summer that didn't care at ALL about camp, and it made me so incredibly angry - cause I'm international and I love camp, and I don't want people to just assume that the majority of international staff just doesn't care. So it made me happy last year when I got told multiple times that "I don't really think of you as international staff..." - because last year the term became kind of negative (I'm not saying all the other internationals sucked - we had some awesome girls I'm lucky to know - but the clique that was usually referred to as "the internationals" was horrible).

I don't think I've met a CIT at my camp that didn't want to be there, they're usually super-excited about camp.

[Trees]

We occasionally get the CITs who WERE super-excited to come to camp, but then get there and find out one of the following things:

-hey, my boyfriend's not here and I can't stand to be away from him!
-ew, this used to be fun, but now these girls are dorks! (from CITs who only think they're mature)
-I guess I only loved it here 'cause our counselor last year let us break all the rules!

These girls are definitely a challenge. A CIT who doesn't want to be there can be a huge bad influence on campers and other CITs and even immature counselors (the ones who haven't "made it" with the other counselors due to immaturity, and see being friends with a CIT as their chance to be a Cool Kid).

One of the things I tell the international counselors during their orientation is that people are going to keep asking them why they wanted to come to camp, so they should think up a good reason, no matter what the real reason is... I can't think of an international who didn't do a fairly good job, though, even if she was just there for the travel. They generally come with a pretty good sense of commitment. Our staff-who-don't-want-to-be-there are usually people who should have stopped working at camp the year before, weren't able to give it up, got to camp, and really had no interest in anything. Or the people who should have moved up a position and didn't realize how boring it was going to be to do the same job again--people who either weren't qualified for the higher positions, or were afraid to take them on.

[CAMPFRIEND]

It seems that I get to deal with this one all the time. I am at a day camp so A lot of our older campers do not want to be at camp. We have to keep coming up with new things to keep them going. The joys of campers when their parents don't trust them at home.

[Dave]

Our oldest campers (10-13) get free choice every period, every day. So (except for lunch) they get to choose all of their activities. I guess this makes them enjoy it more. And I think all the bunk counselors for those age groups are also specialists for an activity with those age groups. It's weird how they do it, but it all works out.

[CAMPFRIEND]

We also give our older campers free choice. I just think the older you get the less you want to be with little kids. I had some parents this summer who I told their child would have more fun at a overnight camp. The sent their child and they had a great time.. It's great when you can help a child grow and try somthing new!

[camper]

it's important to do things and implement programs to keep your older kids wanting to come back. i can imagine it's probably harder to do at a day camp though. at my sleepaway camp, the older the kids get, the more privileges they get. the 3rd and 4th graders have complete structured program w/little free choice, the 5th and 6th graders have hobby center every other day and get to choose their activity for that, plus they get to play other activities in their schedule that the youngest ones don't. the whole upper camp (7th-10th graders) have an option period every day, and mondays are almost completely option periods for them. so they know as they get older their activity options will increase.

not to mention that we have what we call "senior and PC privileges." some of them are for the whole senior group, the lower seniors and PC's (9th and 10th graders), such as their 3 day trip to either boston or niagara falls (alternating so they all get to go on both trips), having an extra-special sing, using the phones a couple of times a week, go on canoe trips, and a lot of nights out (in the canteen haha), and socials after some evening activities. some of the privileges are just for the PC's...they get extra "PC nights out", they are all chosen to lead some special events teams at some point during the summer, 6 of them are chosen to lead teams in color war, they get to go on mystery trips for some meals or mornings or afternoons, and everyone in camp looks up to the PC girls.

basically, the point is, the girls all want to be seniors and even more special, PC's, and they count the days and keep coming back so they can do all of those special things w/their best friends...and they live for camp!

[campCardinal]

We've had staff who came back to camp just because it's what they had always done. Or, we have staff that come back because all their friends are on staff... and they are no longer there for the right reasons.

If someone is doing a lousy job for whatever reason the directors will talk to them about it. They try and work something out, moving units, taking a day off or ending the summer early. It's always crazy... but that's camp!

[CAMPFRIEND]

Camper,

You are right it's harder at day camp.. We keep trying.

I had that problem for the first time with counselors who just wanted to work with their friends. I have to say thay did not make it the whole summer. The part that I like the least about camp is letting staff go or sending campers home!

[Dave]

As I said, every day and every period (except lunch) is free choice for the oldest kids at our camp. And they do get some added activites, such as archery, water trampoline, etc. Activties that none of the younger kids get to do.

[CAMPFRIEND]

I think that I am going to try to come up with more activities for our older campers. If you all have any ideas let me know. Just think low budget that older campers would like!

[camper]

send them on a treasure hunt and have a pizza party waiting at the end for them! i've always wanted to do that at my camp.

[code3cadet]

Ya I had one the kid made my week hell. He would yell at me and other camper, hit me and other camper, in the end he was there all week and by the end he did not want to leave.

[code3cadet]

I think that I am going to try to come up with more activities for our older campers. If you all have any ideas let me know. Just think low budget that older campers would like!
The dating game is a good one, dances, a group game like 20 quest,and my favrit a biger kids camp fire. at my camp we have upper camp that is for the older youth and then low camp that is for the youger youth. and they do there own program at night.

[CAMPFRIEND]

The dating game is a good one, dances, a group game like 20 quest,and my favrit a biger kids camp fire. at my camp we have upper camp that is for the older youth and then low camp that is for the youger youth. and they do there own program at night.

These are all great ideas. The only problem is that I am at a day camp.. We have tried to do a few of them!! Thank you for trying.

[code3cadet]

Have you done Ice brakers/ there is some team ice brackers. like the homan not, or river of lava

[CAMPFRIEND]

We spend a lot of time with our older campers doing team building activities. We also have an alpine tower that we take them to. Thank you for you help and ideas!

[code3cadet]

Alpine tower what is that

[CAMPFRIEND]

It's like a high ropes course. You do all kinds of activities about 40 feet in the air.

[code3cadet]

ya I bilay the one at my camp that is so fun

[EchoLaker]

We all tried everything you mentioned, camper. This kid went to the extreme to make it hell for us. If we'd tell him to participate in an activity with the bunk, he'd come over for about 30 seconds then walk away doing whatever he wanted. I think there might have been something wrong with him (mentally) as well. Maybe a little autism or something. Not sure.


The bolded statement surprised me.

As counselors were you not given a "meds" briefing before the campers' arrival refering to all issues ?

We sat in the directors' house, at stupid o'clock, with the rest of the staff in our group and discussed past behavioral history at camp, medical conditions and requirements, and even were told whether they wore braces.

It's an essential information flow that allows us to meet the campers' needs, as a staff group we'd also then know that one of us would have to accompany Camper X to the Health Center each morning before breakfast to get his meds, and could make contingencys for coverage arrangements.

[CAMPFRIEND]

I think that a lot of parent won't tell you what is going on with their child. The want them to go to camp and They think that if they put some things on the form the Director might not let their child go to their camp. I had a lot of parents who would do this. I have also had parents who take their children of their meds for the summer. That's fun let me tell you!

[rockinsmiles]

For campers to come to camp their parents have to fill out a medical form and have a doctor sign it. however let me tell you we do get the campers that the parents think taking their kids off the meds right before they go to camp is a great idea. Now while im not a huge fan of medication i dont believe camp is the place to try that out at all. Of course we also get the campers that their parents just put them on a new medication and dunno how the camper reacts. Really not smart ideas for parents since we dont have much interaction with them anyways. Like they arent really gonna know how their child did without their meds/with new meds.

[CAMPFRIEND]

I am not a big fan of meds either, but taking a kid of them for the summer is not fair to the camper, counselors or other campers. I know that I have had parents who I have given them the choice of getting me their meds or the child would go home. Somthing that I never like to do. Parents think their children will be fine without them, but as we know for most of the campers their parents are wrong!!!

[rockinsmiles]

I guess another thing is the fact that a parent has made that choice for their child without telling the camper's doctor and sometime not informing our director. i just dont get parents sometimes.

[CAMPFRIEND]

Sometimes it's the Doctors idea!! How crazy is that.

[EchoLaker]

I think that a lot of parent won't tell you what is going on with their child. The want them to go to camp and They think that if they put some things on the form the Director might not let their child go to their camp. I had a lot of parents who would do this. I have also had parents who take their children of their meds for the summer. That's fun let me tell you!

Personally, I think that's just plain irresponsible on the behalf of the parents - sending a kid in "cold turkey" from their meds for an extended length of time around people they haven't met is just silly.

If anything the parents should be spending the 10 months of the year constructively rather than upto 2 months of possible destruction, even if it is in what they believe is more comfortable surroundings; who knows what the effect of not being on the meds is having on them - maybe the percieved comfortable surrounds aren't all that comfortable.