Home sickness!!

[Skater Bubbles]

Hey I was just wondering if any other resident camp counselors have any solutions on how to battle homesickness. I have 9 year olds and they constantly get homesick and I can deal wth the minor homesickness, but I have had some insane cases of homesickness. I had a girl that would wake me up everynight every hour crying. I also had a girl try to hurt herself so we would send her home. It all worked ou tin the end with all my cases, but I was just wondering if anyone had any good solutions to dealing with homesickness.

[CAMPFRIEND]

Homesickness is a big battle for camps to deal with. I think that the biggest thing with younger kids that you need to make sure that you rember is keep them going. Don't give them much of a chance to think about home. During slow times the campers seem to have the biggest problems with becoming home sick. Also, make sure that you don't tke time away from your other campers to deal with one home sick camper. If you do that can slow things down and cause a chain of new campers becomeing home sick. Also, talk with you directors and unit staff on ideas they might have to help you out. Rember you can fix all of your campers all of the time.. Get help if you can!
________
YR-1 (http://www.cyclechaos.com/wiki/Yamaha_YR-1)

[speedx5xracer]

its a huge deal at my camp with my age group if you check my techniques in a few weeks ill be posting my homesickness handeling techniques

[martha27]

keeping them busy and involved, definately something that was encouraged for homesick kids

[Indigo]

Definitely keep them busy and involved. But if they're actively sobbing, get them away from the group. Because it's contagious, and if you have trouble with one camper, you don't want a whole unit full of crying campers!

We've had a wide variety of homesickness too, from campers who cry a little the first night and then are fine, to ones who hurt themselves to go home, to ones who cry the whole time, until the last night they're crying because they want to stay. Some of the ones I've dealt with include a camper who was afraid her parents were going to get rid of her puppy while she was gone, a girl who didn't really mix well with the others and cried/had asthma attacks frequently, and a WIT who had gone to camp for years, and suddenly this year couldn't take being away from home.
The funniest one I had was last summer. It was at dinner, and after I'd served the food to my table, I noticed the little girl next to me was crying. I asked her what was wrong (while the older camper pouring drinks asked the rest of the table about their day), and she said she missed her sister. I figured she meant a sister at home, so I said it would only be a couple more days, and maybe she could write her sister a letter telling her about all the fun things she was doing... But she sobbed, "No, she's over there!" and pointed to the table next to ours. So I was kind of at a loss for a second, but then I told her that if she could make it through dinner without her sister, I had a secret I would tell her if she promised not to tell anyone else. So she promised, and she didn't cry for the rest of the meal, and even joined in the conversations going on. It worked well! And luckily I had a good secret in mind, the wranglers were planning on visiting her unit later that night with some horses. Getting campers to work towards a goal like that, even if it's a small one, often helps a lot. Sometimes by the time they reach that point, they've forgotten their homesickness.

[melon4382]

A good idea is to have a homesickness bear or other stuffed animal is a great way to relieve homesickness. You let them sleep with the homesickness bear and tell them he will keep them safe and he will love them and hug them at night. It's also good, like the others have said, to keep the kids busy. DOn't let them dwell on thoughts of home. If they are crying and sobbing and really want to go home talk with them about all of the fun stuff they get to do at camp that they wouldn't be able to do at home. It helps, believe me.

[camper]

ok step number one: don't use the word "homesick" unless it is really true. that's my camp's philosophy and it has helped us to explain to kids the difference between actual "homesickness" and "missing home." in most cases, the kids just "miss home."

a truly "homesick" kid can't function. they make themselves physically sick, don't eat, and can't sleep.

kids who "miss home" might cry a couple of times a day and talk about wanting to go home and missing their family but the rest of the time enjoy camp. they might cry before bed, too but if you sit with them, they'll fall asleep.

when you encounter a crying kid saying she wants to go home, don't use the word homesick. be like, "it's ok that you miss home but i've seen you at activities and with your bunk and you have such a good time!" then ask her what her favorite activity is. also, especially with girls, promise her that when she feels better she can show you her pictures of her family and friends at home or other things from home. make sure you let your groupleaders and directors know about it to so it can be documented that you knew how the child was feeling. this is important so that in case the parents call that they got a letter that the child is "homesick" you can assure them that that is not the case at all and tell them what you've done to help the kid.

with an actually "homesick" kid, the situations get a little more difficult. when we have kids that are actually homesick, first we make sure that we (the staff that regularly works with the kid including her grouphead and the directors) remain in contact with the parents to give them updates. we find out what that kid's favorite activities are and then when anyone in the age group has that activity, the camper can go with that group. we also ask the kid what (besides going home) will make her feel better. a lot of the times we end up giving extra phone calls (the rest of the kids don't know about them) or that kid will sit down with my mom or the directors once a day to talk about her day. also make sure that you know about that camper's bedtime routine so you can help get her through going to bed at night.

surprisingly, most kids that actually are homesick their first summer end up coming back to camp the next summer and trying it again, and a lot of the times end up loving it. then when they're in the oldest age group we can joke with them about how they had a hard time in the beginning and they all say they can't believe they didn't like camp when they were little, haha! we never really send kids home due to homesickness...maybe once every few summers, and usually only after the kids have given it a couple of summers.

[CAMPFRIEND]

I was just thinking that I get to still deal with homesick campers and I work at a day camp!!! These kids get to go home. I am not sure what they miss for 8 hours!
________
herbal vaporizers (http://vaporizers.net/)

[rockinsmiles]

i know a lot of answers for "homesickness" is keep the camper busy. however how in heaven's name are you going to keep them busy when its time for them to go to bed?! that seems to be the most likely time for them to be upset. what i say is talk to the camper. i literaly talked to a girl till she fell asleep. we talked about everything. what to look forward to the next day, what had happended that day, what she missed about home, that leaving day wasnt that far away, her favorite activities, and what she thought might help the situation. really though campers missing home is one of the hardest things to deal with i think. maybe because the camper normally doesnt do a turn around while you talk to them. it has to sink in with them. every case is different and your normally doing a much better job than you would think.

[KrazyPoolGirl]

my kids this summer were fourth graders, i had one girl who did not stop crying....she was homesick in the begging and then was constantly getting introuble, (that's another story) but with the whole homesick issue, we tried to keep your engaged and active, even at night, which was the hardest part...we got her involved with the other girls, at night became the time to do nails, and write letters home, and color, and create, and do things that little girls enjoy to do!!! we also made a rule in our bunk.....we never gave mail out at night, when mail was given out close to bed time, homesick and the missing of parents got worse in campers that were homesick and bad in campers that weren't...we usually gave it out during rest time, because it was easier to transition them away from the feeling of homesickness during the day when they could play outside and had to go to activities and stufff!!!!

[ocean]

my cure was say that whild the camper was staying at camp that they could think of you as their mom or dad. Worked like a charm

[who_stole_my_loofa]

We have found that a great method is to make these kids a calendar of the summer. Put special things like Bowling trip or White water rafting, or if it's not a surprise at your camp you can put Color war or Carnival on there- or song fest- wahtever! Make sure you don't put surprise events on them though! And don't even think about putting count down numbers on them! On the blank days put things like "Try a new activity" or "Introduce yourself to someone new" or "Invite someone to sit on your bed during rest hour" "Write a special letter to your sister" etc etc- it's a good way for the kids to get involved with the other campers and a good way for them to see that camp really isn't that long and they should be having fun with the few days they have. By the 2nd week they are usually just fine. Don't forget to involve other techniques though like speaking to your unit leader/ director, or finding things they enjoy about home and adapting them to camp (ex: "Do you have a dog at home? Well you might like to go see the goats at Farm and Barn").

Loofa

[daisy]

DISTRACTIONS work well for minor homesickness. I've had the youngest campers for the past three summers, and typically they get homesick at night. Things that usually work well are just talking to the kid and getting them to tell you what they like about camp, or getting them interested in something else... the I Spy books are great, or giving them a book to look at. Or sometimes writing a letter home makes them feel better. For kids that are a little more homesick, "magic mints" (lifesavers wintergreen mints) or "homesick pills" are usually winners, and having a magic necklace, bracelet, or stuffed animal usually goes over well too. It is great to see kids who are reallly homesick at the beginning of the week fall in love with camp.

[CAMPFRIEND]

DISTRACTIONS work well for minor homesickness. I've had the youngest campers for the past three summers, and typically they get homesick at night. Things that usually work well are just talking to the kid and getting them to tell you what they like about camp, or getting them interested in something else... the I Spy books are great, or giving them a book to look at. Or sometimes writing a letter home makes them feel better. For kids that are a little more homesick, "magic mints" (lifesavers wintergreen mints) or "homesick pills" are usually winners, and having a magic necklace, bracelet, or stuffed animal usually goes over well too. It is great to see kids who are reallly homesick at the beginning of the week fall in love with camp.

Daisy, Good idea!

[campCardinal]

Bedtime is when homesickness strikes the most. For the past three summers I've worked with the 6-9 year olds, and I've dealt with a lot of homesickness. I'd like to say that I'm a pro at curing it, but I'm not. Each child is different and needs a different approach to being "cured" of their homesickness.

We usually move the camper to an area that isn't so crowded and other kids aren't around. This is so that the child can focus on the counselor, and so that the counselor can focus on the child. Also, sometimes when kids see one child crying, it reminds them that they miss home too. It's sort of a domino affect. So, we will sit on the porch with the homesick child and try and talk things out.

We talk about the same things many of you talk about. How the day went, what they liked best, what they are looking forward to. I usually like to tell the camper what we're going to be doing the next day, so that way they know what to expect. I try and get them telling me stories too. At first, the camper might be a little quiet in responding... so I'll answer my own questions to get them involved. Like, for favorite part of the day- I'll mention something special our cabin did, or something I noticed that the camper liked a lot. It makes them feel better knowing you liked the same thing, it builds trust in the relationship you create with the camper.

I will sometimes read a bedtime story to the camper too, if they would like. Usually something short, and happy. Many kids have their parents read to them at night, so they like to follow that same routine. Along with this is special songs. I've had a few kids who have parents that sing the same song each night, so I'll ask them to teach it to me, and I'll sing it to them. It's actually a very touching moment when the camper asks for me to sing them their special song. I'm always willing to learn.

I've also had to sit with a child when they are falling asleep before. This can be difficult to deal with sometimes. It was a night when I was off duty, and I was looking forward to relaxing with friends and just hanging out with counselors. But, right as I was getting ready to leave a heard a camper whisper, "can you rub my back while I fall asleep?" I said sure, and then ended up spending close to two hours sitting with this child! It was some what annoying to me, because I just wanted a break from everything, but camp is for the camper.

Just showing the kids that you care about them makes them get over their homesickness. If you hurry to get them to bed so that you can go on your night off, it shows. Doing a good devotion/cabin chat with the whole cabin can be helpful. It keeps campers engaged right up to the point of lights out. Also, it usually focuses on the good things that happened during the day, which helps them end the day on a good note. Also, talk to each camper one on one as they get ready for sleep. This gives them a chance to let you know if something is bothering them, and it also helps build trust and friendship. The campers need to be able to trust you and know that you will be there for them.

[rockinsmiles]

DISTRACTIONS work well for minor homesickness. I've had the youngest campers for the past three summers, and typically they get homesick at night. Things that usually work well are just talking to the kid and getting them to tell you what they like about camp, or getting them interested in something else... the I Spy books are great, or giving them a book to look at. Or sometimes writing a letter home makes them feel better. For kids that are a little more homesick, "magic mints" (lifesavers wintergreen mints) or "homesick pills" are usually winners, and having a magic necklace, bracelet, or stuffed animal usually goes over well too. It is great to see kids who are reallly homesick at the beginning of the week fall in love with camp.

AAAhhh I totally forgot about homesick medicine! We used them when I was a CIT but not anymore. It was tic tacs desolved in water (i personally dont think it sounds too good) and we even kept it at the infirmary!

[Buster]

We told the camper that if they wanted to, we could put them on the "Earn Your Way Home Program". We would tell them that every time we saw them smiling, laughing, and participating, we would give them a point-we just kept track on whatever paper but did not give them an update on how many points, we'd just say things like "oh, you still have to earn more, I'll let you know when". When they earn enough points, (but the number of points was never told) we would talk about going home. Well, at first, they are forcing themselves to smile, laugh and participate, but soon they truly start to have fun. By the time they would have earned "enough" points, they don't even ask about it!

[Indigo]

I've always been suspicious of the "homesickness pills" method. We don't use it at my camp, and I can't imagine parents being too happy about hearing that their kids are getting pills, even if it's really just candy.

I like the "Earn Your Way Home Program" idea, though! That sounds great! I'll try to remember to suggest it at precamp this year.

[roots]

I remember my second year at camp as a camper, I got homesick to the point of throwing up from crying so hard. It was the first summer I started going to my Dad's for alternating weeks during the summer, so it ended up that I had already been away from my Mum for a week when he drove me up to camp. One of the counsellors talked to me about how long they had been up there and that they really missed home too. She told me so much about her family that I forgot how much I missed my own. I went back to that camp for another 4 years without anymore homesickness and now I'm working as a counsellor there this summer. Three more days until I leave!!!

[amnickel]

At our camp we don't call it homesickness we call it sad time. It has helped us. With our kids it seems as soon as you say home they get even worse. We also don't allow them to call home or anything like that.

For the younger kids we don't allow too much "down time". We found that's when they get homesick the worst. When we do have "down time" we also have some group games or extra crafts going.

We've found that if we do get home sick kids during the free time we can say "oh well lets go make something for your mom(or whoever they're missing). Don't you think she would like that?" and they usually go and make a craft and everythings wonderful again.

Our camp is also kind of lucky with being a 4-H camp, cuz there's at least one chaperone or counselor that each campers knows. So it helps cuz they know someone on a more personal basis.

[happy_camper]

Yet, another topic I had a HUGE problem with this summer. I had two girls who literally bawled 24 hours a day. Their homesickness was that bad. NOTHING worked. The first was in the same troop as 2 other campers, and knew one of the counselors. Her situation got so bad that her mom came up to camp mid-way through the week, and joined the staff. Now, let me say that her mom was NOT her counselor. She worked with another unit and hardley ever saw her daughter. Yet knowing that her mom was close made this girl really enjoy camp. The second girl did make it through the week, but she did get to call her parents, which is usually a BIG no-no at our camp. I don't even know why she was homesick or what made her feel better. Her situation was bizarre, I'm not even going to go into it. 85% of my unit got homesick this summer, it was horrible. They were ALL at bedtime (except for the 2 24hr ones). One girl we were able to comfort by re-creating what her mom does to her at bedtime at home. Another we basically hugged and she was better. I always bring some children's books and a stuffed animal for situations like this. Maybe even make the story-reading a cabin-wide event. One girl a couple years ago read to her mom before bed at home, so we let her read to us before bed. But I do agree, If one gets homesick, the others are like Oh, I'm homesick too. I almost forgot!

One of my fellow counselors (Who is my favorite person ever!) has an, er.. interesting way to cure homesickness. While sitting with a homesick camper on the stairs outside the cabin, she noticed a moth on the wall. She made up some huge story about the moth naming it the BLACK NASSAA and this was sooo funny that the camper starts cracking up and totally forgets the whole homesickness thing. She made it kind of an "inside joke" with the camper the rest of the week - Watch out for the black nassaa!

[facade1138]

Homesickness seems to run rapid in the 9 to 11 age range.
A couple of things that I found helpfull were already says such as constantly keep thing them going...even during resthour if necessary. If everyone starts crying at resthour I've taken them out of it and literally had them do a game or something to keep them occupied..this also makes them too tired too miss home and they crash at night...usually...
One technique I found extremely helpful was giving the child a schedule and sitting with them and making happy faces next to the things they liked and frowny faces next to the things they weren't looking forward too. Then at the end of the day or activity wheneve htye had time they could cross off the activities they have completed. This usually gives them structure in their hands and helps them a lot.

Although I've had "dramatic" campers, who were part of our drama group, that simply wanted attention...in which we used positive reinforcement...when they screamed and cried we didn't give them extra attention, but when they enjoyed themselves we would talk to them individually.

[runrachrunn]

We had homesickness problems with a few of our 8-9 year olds. Keeping them busy is the best thing... try and draw them in to something that they like - let them create an activity or share favorite things... We had one girl who was very withdrawn and shy, and finally came out of her shell when she showed the staff her drawings. IT was like pulling nails to get the kid to try and say something.

[YUrocks!]

I was just thinking that I get to still deal with homesick campers and I work at a day camp!!! These kids get to go home. I am not sure what they miss for 8 hours!

I agree! I was shocked my first summer of day camp how big an issue homesickness can be. The most significant times of day for "missing home" are first thing (just after arrival) and lunch.