Fourteen Year Old Girls

[Lily Windsor]

I'm off to camp for the first time this summer. YAY! It's also my first time in the states!

Anyway, I'm going to be in charge of a group of fourteen year old girls. Sounds pretty difficult, but I figure I probably won't have to deal with bed wetting and homesickness might not be that bad with older children (correct me if i'm wrong).

I was just wondering what are the common problems that you have with a group that age and how do you solve certain problems.

I actually have no idea what to expect and I would like to be a little bit prepared.

[laurathistle]

I have experience with this age group through being a Girl Guide Leader. Specific problems experienced at camp have included:

Keeping them out of the boy scout's bunks.
them wanting to spend 1 hour+ doing hair and make up.
Not wanting to take part in messy and/or wet activities because they don't want to ruin said hair and makeup.
Trying to smuggle in alcohol (I say try because they failed and were sent home).
Low self esteem.
Poor self image.
Refusing to take part in what they regard as babyish/childish or generally 'uncool' activities, such as singing.
Problems related to their periods that they did not want to discuss with an adult (similar to bed wetting).
Not making friends/being excluded by rest of the group.
Think of themselves as an adult leader and act as if they are one, thinking that rules don't apply to them and trying to boss other kids around.
Becoming 'clingy' to leaders (sometimes because of homesickness).Hope this is of some help and gives you something to think about!

[these.city.lights]

What about smoking? People around that age are starting to do things like this. Smoking being one of them.

[laurathistle]

Oddly, this is not a problem I have ever come up against. I am sure other people will have though.

[Lily Windsor]

Thank you very much. That has given me things to think about.

Anyone else who has experiences, please share. :)

[Flukie]

One of the biggest things I find is that with this age group, if you give it your all, they will too. They look to see what you are doing - and if you are looking like something is lame, they will pick up on that and RUN with it as fast as they can. But, if you take the silliest activity and give it 110% (even if you have to joke about it because it really IS too young for them), I'd say 99% of the time they will follow. The other 1% - give 'em the "look" and they'll generally grudgingly do it. :)

[laurathistle]

Oooh, must practice my "look." I haven't used it for a while!

[prideeinpynk]

These are definitely some of the reasons that I stuck to the littlest age group for this summer.

But I would look back to when you were that age and go from there. I 100% agree with the whole go for it attitude that Flukie suggested. Girls at that age need to know that if they are getting into something that its not going to set them outside of the group, because at that age they are looking to "fit in" first and foremost (at least for the most part).

I would also be ready for some heavy questions, and know your camp's policy and also your personal preference with dealing with said questions. These girls are just becoming teenagers and they are probably going through a lot of changes both in body and in soul. Be ready with a plan on how you're going to deal with questions on love, sex, and growing up, because they will come and you need to be ready to be a strong guiding force for them.

Another issue that you're going to have to address is the smaller age gap between you and your campers. You need to be extra firm in establishing boundaries. Earning their respect is going to be an important part of making the summer go smoothly, and you can do this by standing your ground, being level headed, being a role model in regards to obeying the rules yourself, and treating each girl the same. The moment you waver or begin to show signs of misjudgment they are going to latch onto that and you will most likely lose them.

However, so that we're not ending on a bad note, think of everything that you can experience with these girls that those of us with younger campers cannot. They will probably enjoy many of the same things you do (music, movies, books, etc). They have some knowledge of the world, and are able to hold interesting and intelligent conversations (not to say that the little ones won't be interesting, but you know what I mean). They won't be afraid to share ideas of their own because they've had a lot more experience in exercising their voice and their creativity.

I'm sure you're summer will be great! :D Have fun with it!

[Flukie]

prideeinpynk, I completely agree on the benefits of this age group! The older girls are my absolutely favorite age group - I work with 16 and 17 year olds and I love so much about them. You can have some deep conversations with them and know that they get what you mean! They are bright, creative and outgoing young women - and I love that I get to be part of their summer.

Little ones also have their benefits - but I love this age group so much!

[triplethreat]

Another issue that you're going to have to address is the smaller age gap between you and your campers. You need to be extra firm in establishing boundaries. Earning their respect is going to be an important part of making the summer go smoothly, and you can do this by standing your ground, being level headed, being a role model in regards to obeying the rules yourself, and treating each girl the same. The moment you waver or begin to show signs of misjudgment they are going to latch onto that and you will most likely lose them.

This is excellent advice. One of the biggest mistakes counselors make with this age group is trying too hard to be the campers' friend: You are NOT their friend. You are their surrogate parent while they are at camp and you need to behave that way. But that doesn't mean that they shouldn't love you! They should, but as more of a parent or big sister than as a peer.

From my experience, the way you behave in the first few days will set the tone for these girls. Don't be surprised if they test you - they will want to know how much they can get away with! If you are caring and understanding but at the same time make your expectations clear and demand respect, they will quickly "find their place" with you and you will be able to enjoy the rest of your summer without much trouble.

[happy_camper]

I second everything you guys have said!

Just for emphasis, I would like to repeat what has already been said because it is what I find one of the MOST important things of being a counselor for ANY age group.

Whatever you do with 110%, they will too!
If you are one of those counselors who sit back and watch and not participate, they aren't going to participate. Be excited about everything you do -- EVERYTHING! Even if it's stupid and dorky, it's camp. They will follow your lead. Sing your heart out. Do a dorky dance. You are their role model.

[camper]

another thing to consider is if these girls have all been going to camp together for awhile and have been together as a "group" for several summers (most of the 14 year olds at my camp are on their 6th or 7th summer at camp and their bunks don't change very much). if this is the case, you have to be prepared to be somewhat ignored for the 1st few days. they'll be settling in and catching up with their friends, and they're probably used to having a lot of different counselors when they, as a group, have remained constant. so until you show them how fun you can be, they will probably (hopefully) be polite, but not overly inclusive. if you jump into camp and ask them lots of questions about camp (for example, "hey guys, that special event day sounds really fun, what happens on that day?") and themselves ("is that your little brother in that picture? he's adorable!") they will take to you.

i'm not trying to be negative, but at my camp that is a fact of life for many new counselors. after the first few days, the majority end up being loved by their campers and having a great summer!!!

[annknee]

I love this age group - I run Guides and Senior Section groups at home, and worked with them at camp last summer

Negative factors include

we had 2 campers caught smoking last year, one of them also was caught stealing someone elses underwear, we have no idea why, possibly revenge for not taking the blame about the smoking even when the underwear victim had nothing to do with it
2 girls were caught taking showers together and constantly boasted about drugs
Difficult to motivate (though presumably if they are at camp that is different to motivating a disperate group of Young Leaders at home!)
They are just not as cute as the younger ones!

Positive things;

You wont get (as many) really silly questions such as "do they have paths in England" etc
They are able to do a lot more than younger campers and have (supposedly) the attention span for longer activities such as craft projects that last over several session.
They have a more practical imagination which helps planning, whereas younger kids want to go swimming on horses, older ones want to throw an American Idol themed meal for the camp
you get to hold a semi-grown up conversation about a topic that makes sense rather than the history of their cat mixed with tales of when they become shooting stars at night and their best friend at schools brand new bike
You can be even sillier with them than with younger campers when they are in the right mood.
Theyre not such hard work during night times as generally they dont wake up so much during the night, dont get homesick, wet the bed, or just want a chat with you at 4am
Finally you really get to work with them as individuals and as a group.

Its not an easier option, its not a harder option its just a different option. Being enthusiastic and knowing your limits helps to cope with the problems.

(I know it seems from this like i really dislike the younger groups, but i really dont honest!)