Technique 1 (The Mirror)

[speedx5xracer]

Situation: child is upset and not talking to anyone (this will open comunication)
Effectiveness from Experience ****

So say you are the councilor of a group of children and one of your campers seems to be upset and not talking to any of the other campers or staff. Most people would be inclined to leave the camper be and hope they can overcome it on their own. Most of the time that will NOT work I don’t care who the child is in my experience that never worked. Here is the technique I have used many times and find to be the most effective. Approach the child slowly and sit down next to them in the same exact posture they are in. Sit like that for a minute or two only speak if the child addresses you first during this stage. After those first few moments in a calm soothing voice start talking to the child, ask questions about why are they feeling the way that they are. As you engage the child in conversation slowly change your posture to a more open position. The child should be moving at the same rate and the same movements that you are. After a couple of minutes the child should be talking to you with out hesitation and after a few more minutes they may even be in a better mood but at the least they will be open to talking.

[camper]

that sounds like a great idea!!! sometimes even just sitting w/the kid quietly even if he or she won't talk to you works too to make the child feel better and forget about what he or she was upset about. just make sure that the child is away from the others...b/c most likely they'll come up to the upset camper and be like, "what's wrong?" and just be annoying. an upset camper is not a show for everyone else to watch.

[simdude]

that's a good tip! thanks. ill have to remember this.

[mandyloo]

That seems like a really good idea. I must disagree on the fact however that most people would be inclined to leave the kid alone. Any good counselor would try and help the kid.

[speedx5xracer]

I dont mean ignore them but let them work through it themselves

[collissimon]

I suppose it does depend on the individual situation. For example, if I was annoyed because little Jimmy had broken my favourite toy, and my counsellor came up and started copying my gestures, it would really irritate me, as it isn't really dealing with my problem: my broken toy.

This is a great tool for redirection and lightening the mood if necessary, but if it's a more serious [or perceived as more serious] then it could make the situation worse.

Also, leaving a child to their own devices can sometimes be the best way: last year I had a chronically homesick child. We talked to him, were nurturing and understanding etc. There is however a point where you have to move away and concentrate on the group of kids who are having fun, as it shows the homesick child that the best place to be is with the group. Another counsellor talked to him when he was taking some time to himself, as he was upset, when we'd left him. After the talk, he locked himself in the toilet and was crying worse than before, because someone gave him that attention. When he was integrated with the group, he had a good summer.

[speedx5xracer]

I should have explained it better but this technique is more or less ment to open up communication not necessarily solve the problem. Another thing if you read my post in its entirety it says which situation this is best suited for. I will have a total of about 15-20 techniques each works for certain situations. There are other ways of doing it which i will explain in the comming techniques.

[collissimon]

What kind of things would someone say to the kid?

[CAMPFRIEND]

This is a great way to work with kids. You just need to be carefull how you approach some campers pending their age!
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[who_stole_my_loofa]

I've tried similar techniques to this and it usually works well- good idea for posting it!

[CAMPFRIEND]

It's funny reading this. I also run a sports program and I got to use this the other with a 4 year old on my soccer team. It worked!